I had my first real car accident happen a couple of days ago. Isn't it crazy how you can be having an absolute perfect day and then all of a sudden your day is turned up side down with something upredictable. While I was leaving Deerpark mall a girl pulled out in front of me and I T-boned her, with my kids in the car!! It wasn't good at all. I jumped out of my car and the girl that pulled out in front of me was screaming and swearing at me. She was putting all the blame on me. It's funny how in those moments you can get super defensive. Well I did, because she wouldn't stop screaming at me. Finally, an off duty officer told her it wasn't going to do her any good to yell at me. After a few minutes went by the police and the ambulance arrived on the seen. At that time the girls boyfriend came into the picture and starting yelling at me, crazy, huh!!! The police officer immediately told the guy to back off and leave me alone, thank God!! I really wanted to cry! My kids had to go into the ambulance to get checked out, they were on cloud nine, loved every second of it! You really wouldn't have thought they'd been in an accident, it was hilarious! I wouldn't be surprised if they asked if we could do that again because they enjoyed it so much! So back to the accident, no one got a ticket due to it being on private property. After the accident I had to deal with all the insurance calls. The girl I hit spent a half hour on the phone with our claims guy swearing and telling him how much she hated me! The claims guy called me after his conversation with pyscho girl and told me all that she said. Long story short, my insurance decided that she was at fault because I was on her right, and the state of IL says that you have to yield to the person on the right and that I have the right away. Well, the girl gets the letter in the mail stating that were not covering any of her damage, so I know when she gets that letter she is going to flip out and probably come find me and beat me up!
As for us we now have 2 broken cars and a $500 deductable, that I don't have a clue how were going to pay. So please pray for a miracle because we are in need of that. This was definiately bad timing, but I'm so thankful that God protected us!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Healthy boundaries & the Overindulged Child
If you are a mother of a young child I would highly recommend you to get involved with a MOPS in your area. I've joined MOPS about a year in a half ago and it has been such a HUGE help with advice in parenting.
Last week we had a child therapist come in and share in setting boundaries and the overindulged child. Wow! What a great talk he shared with us. I think a huge problem that moms face is knowing when and how to start putting into place the boundaries that kids need and when your kids want things, how much is too much! Sometimes I also think that as woman we tend to try to act like we've got it all figured out, but in reality we don't have a clue! Parenting is such a HUGE journey, and just when you think you've got it all figured out, you don't!
Ken broke down the morning into 3 catagories:
1. Giving the child too much and too many things (Anything they what they get it)
2. Over-Nurturing your child (Doing things that they should and could do, like putting on clothes, tieing shoes, school work)
3. Soft Structure (Too much freedom too soon. are not consistant with rules in place, lack in discipline)
As I heard these 3 points I thought I was doing it all right for the most part, well then we starting digging deeper and I realized I have a TON to work on. I think it's so hard to find that balance on not giving your kid too much. I can think about Christmas coming up and how we all love to go overboard and buy our kids so many gifts, because we want to see their faces and them to have the best Christmas ever. Sometimes we lose the meaning of Christmas because we so wrapped up in buying the next gift. I think that becoming aware of what your kids have and need and knowing what is really practical and neccessary and what is not. This will help us in the process of what to get them. The over nurturing part, I kind of had to laugh, because I do find myself getting so impatient that I put on my kids shoes because they take forever! It's so easy to do things yourself, then waitiing that extra 5 minutes. I realized with that point that I'm only crippling my kids when I do everything for them. Lastly the soft structure, now Dave is SO much better then me at this. If you are a stay at home mom it gets really difficult not to slack in the rules an diciplining. Because your with your kids all the time, you don't want them to feel like your the crazy woman with all these rules and spankings all the time. Let's face it, kids and their behavior wears on you and it's easy to not follow the rules and lack in discipline. I've really come to realize that it is SO dangerous when you have a soft structure. Kids need consistent rules and structure because they are so smart and will try every second to get their ways if you let them.
Being a mom and a parent there is a lot to learn, but it's important not to act like you know what your doing all the time. I would suggest getting involved with a moms group, reading parenting books, find a woman who has successfully raised her family and asked her questions. There are so many ways to better ourselves as parents, we just have to be willing to find those ways.
Last week we had a child therapist come in and share in setting boundaries and the overindulged child. Wow! What a great talk he shared with us. I think a huge problem that moms face is knowing when and how to start putting into place the boundaries that kids need and when your kids want things, how much is too much! Sometimes I also think that as woman we tend to try to act like we've got it all figured out, but in reality we don't have a clue! Parenting is such a HUGE journey, and just when you think you've got it all figured out, you don't!
Ken broke down the morning into 3 catagories:
1. Giving the child too much and too many things (Anything they what they get it)
2. Over-Nurturing your child (Doing things that they should and could do, like putting on clothes, tieing shoes, school work)
3. Soft Structure (Too much freedom too soon. are not consistant with rules in place, lack in discipline)
As I heard these 3 points I thought I was doing it all right for the most part, well then we starting digging deeper and I realized I have a TON to work on. I think it's so hard to find that balance on not giving your kid too much. I can think about Christmas coming up and how we all love to go overboard and buy our kids so many gifts, because we want to see their faces and them to have the best Christmas ever. Sometimes we lose the meaning of Christmas because we so wrapped up in buying the next gift. I think that becoming aware of what your kids have and need and knowing what is really practical and neccessary and what is not. This will help us in the process of what to get them. The over nurturing part, I kind of had to laugh, because I do find myself getting so impatient that I put on my kids shoes because they take forever! It's so easy to do things yourself, then waitiing that extra 5 minutes. I realized with that point that I'm only crippling my kids when I do everything for them. Lastly the soft structure, now Dave is SO much better then me at this. If you are a stay at home mom it gets really difficult not to slack in the rules an diciplining. Because your with your kids all the time, you don't want them to feel like your the crazy woman with all these rules and spankings all the time. Let's face it, kids and their behavior wears on you and it's easy to not follow the rules and lack in discipline. I've really come to realize that it is SO dangerous when you have a soft structure. Kids need consistent rules and structure because they are so smart and will try every second to get their ways if you let them.
Being a mom and a parent there is a lot to learn, but it's important not to act like you know what your doing all the time. I would suggest getting involved with a moms group, reading parenting books, find a woman who has successfully raised her family and asked her questions. There are so many ways to better ourselves as parents, we just have to be willing to find those ways.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Raising the Bar
Tonight I was sitting in a high school watching a high school play. Usually when I think of a high school play, I think of fun, innocent, you know like the kind that you leaves all happy. Well tonight that wasn't the case for me at all. This play had students, swearing all the way through it, making several sexual remarks, having a gay couple get engaged, and a seen where girls and guys were dancing so provocatively that you almost felt like you were in a strip club! Maybe I'm old-fashioned or something, but I really believe that high school plays should not be like that. I think it's so inappropriate and sad! I can't imagine what it would be like 10 years from now when my daughters in high school.
After the play I got to my car and felt like I need to start raising the bar in my life. I really was convicted with the stuff that I watch or just all the inappropriate things that we all joke around about. All the conversations that are meaningless. I really feel like it's time to raise the bar and make standards that don't budge no matter what. I really want to strive to live life differently, even though it's not the popular thing to do.
After the play I got to my car and felt like I need to start raising the bar in my life. I really was convicted with the stuff that I watch or just all the inappropriate things that we all joke around about. All the conversations that are meaningless. I really feel like it's time to raise the bar and make standards that don't budge no matter what. I really want to strive to live life differently, even though it's not the popular thing to do.
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